Whatever has affected Britain’s farms, the crops are growing out of control. There is more than anyone can eat – not that you’d WANT to eat some of the stuff coming out of the ground anyway! So, some of the farmers are burning the excess to prevent it rotting and spreading disease.

Except the fires aren’t co-operating either. Some are sprouting zombies. Some have grown legs and are running around the streets. Some are reading Vogon poetry to passers-by.  We cannot let this go on!