The naturalist stared into the gloom of the cave, hoping to spot the creatures before they spotted him. Seeing nothing, he stupidly ventured deeper into the cave. Pulling out a scroll and a quill pen, he began to write:

“The creatures known as Dark Fathers are a mystery. They appear to have no offspring, which brings the origins of their name into question. Also, they possess not known spoken language, and devour any who come near them, which raises the question of who survived and spread word of this strange name. It is probably fortunate that they do not seem to breed in any conventional manner – after all, who would want such a hideous creature for a parent?”

*cough*

It came from behind him, at knee-height. Turning, he saw a small creature, apparently wearing a skull as a helmet.

“That’s my dad you’re writing bad things about, Hooman!” it said, and kicked the naturalist in the shins.

As he hopped about, holding one leg, the last thought that the naturalist had was “It’s behind me, isn’t it?”

Indeed it was.

Come and see what the Dark Fathers are celebrating! Gates from the EM hall at 5pm EST!