Trolls. They’re not the brightest of Britannia’s creatures.

One pack of trolls in particular seems to have reached new depths of stupidity. While hunting the legendary (and probably mythic) snark in the Eodon swamps, they came across a female T-Rex. At least, they claim it is female.

After a strange accident with some stolen dye tubs, some berries, and a pot of wax, the poor creature ended up covered in bright pink dye. This led the trolls to believe that it is some form of goddess – and, as it is pink, it must be a love goddess.

The trolls are now following it wherever it goes, protected from being eaten alive only by their vile body odour. They have started building a temple to their goddess – nobody wants to consider what they intend to do in there – near Vesper’s favourite lovers meeting spot, much to the distress of courting Vesparians.

So come, this Valentine’s week, and help restore true love to Vesper, and convince these trolls that, no matter how pretty in pink it is, a match between a t-rex and trolls is never going to work.