Friday 13th October at 5 pm EST

Maloria the witch glared at her sister. “Grizzly, you always knew the wrong thing to say! How can it just be luck? Bad luck, good luck – unfair is what I call it!”

Grizelda cackled at her younger sibling. “unfair? You pathetic whiner! Luck it is, but luck is what you make it! Your constant defeats are your own doing. Your poor planning. Your poor strategy. Your poor resources. Your pathetic magic!”

Maloria kicked over the cauldron and stormed out of the ruined cottage

“You will see! I will rid this land of luck once and for all! Then we will see whose magic is pathetic! When all those treasure hunters stare at chests full of rubbish, when all those monster hunters find the dragon hordes run dry, when all the fishermen pull up nothing but boots – then, oh sister, then they will know my name, and tremble at my power! I will be greater than even Minax!”

Grizelda waved a hand, righting her cauldron, and laughed.

What you need to know

• Not a lot. The odds are stacked against you. Your leggings will fall down, your sword will droop, your beard will grow inwards, and you will have a series of unfortunate events that will probably end when you awaken the next morning next to a happy looking lich who is cooking breakfast for you.