Publish 80.0.0 has been patched to TC1.

Click on more to see the publish notes in all their bug slaying glory!

Publish 80.0.0

Bug Fixes

• The Ossian Grimoire can now be dyed using Tokuno Dyes
• Vanilla plants will now display with a light gray color in the plant reproduction and resource gumps
• Various creatures that were not previously providing spined leather when skinned now provide the correct leather type
• The Redeemer can now be used to skin animals
• Jewelers will now purchase all manner of silver rings and bracelets
• Plain metal chests can now be unlocked using the magic unlock spell
• An issue with items being unobtainable once placed inside the Sacrificial Altar has been corrected
• Closing the City  Banner purchase gump with a left click will no longer purchase a banner deed
• Players will no longer be sent to Felucca when they are ejected from certain restriction regions if they do not choose an alternate destination
• Gargoyles can now use the Lance’s dismount special move while flying
• The Basket Making Book now has the appropriate item properties displayed
• Various Peerless keys can no longer have their timers broken
• All tamable pets will have their speed reset to default speed
• Players should now be able to enter the Prism of Light while they have other deeds in their backpack
• Players can now interact with the fortune teller even if they aren’t the owner
• Vines will no longer spawn in the water when they are spawned by the Vesper Museum
• The number of mobs spawned in various portions of the Citadel has been scaled down
• Players can now place the Captain’s Wheel on a Britain Ship addon pad
• The Staff of Pyros now has a 5% chance to summon a firefield on its target when attacking
• Newly created Robins Egg candy will no longer fill the tummy of the eater
• Fruit Bowls, Barrel Staves, Barrel Lids, Gingerbread Cookies, and Runed Switches are now stackable
• Quest givers will no longer potentially reveal hidden players
• Players will no longer get stuck inside the Prism of Light if they lose their ticket
• Elven Shirts can now be blessed using the Clothing Bless Deed
• Tailors on Siege Perilous will no longer sell Flax
• The Blessed Statue will now properly display  whether they hold reagents or not
• Players will no longer be able to chop containers when they are contained within a bankbox
• Casting Nature’s Fury or Wildfire from a scroll will now consume the scroll on use
• Peerless bosses should no longer be able to be spawned more than once
• Players should no longer be able to cut up anything with scissors that isn’t in their backpack
• Passive detection of traps will only occur if a player has at least 75 detecting hidden skill
• All fish pies are now stackable
• Golems can no longer be used to exploit combat training
• The Mythic Character token can now be used to increase the Spellweaving Skill if the player is eligible
• Players can no longer target hidden or invisible players with shatter potions
• Shatter potions now require line of sight
• Players can no longer bypass the 60 second cooldown timer for Shatter Potions
• Small soulforges can now be used to alter items through the tailoring skill
• Gargoyles can no longer obtain stone form while flying
• Healers will now spawn in the proper location in Yew
• Female Guards will no longer spawn with mannish features
• The Nether Cyclone spell will no longer effect targets that are out of line of sight
• Animated Weapon cannot be cast through walls
• Ethereal Swamp Dragons will match regular swamp dragons when retouched with the retouching tool
• NPCs near the Zento Dock will no longer spawn in inappropriate locations
• Certain particle effects have had their likelihood reduced to prevent EC crashes
• Players will receive a message when they have reached the Highest Path in Honesty
• Runes marked inside a house will be hued to match the hue of the facet in which they are created
• The Bracers of Alchemical Devastation now have a lightning effect to prevent paralyzes from being interrupted
• The Small Snowy area in Malas can now be marked and recalled into
• Stacks of Obsidian Fragments will not be entirely consumed when combined with a single or partially reconstructed Obsidian Fragment
• Hit Life Leech and Hit Mana Leech will now have a visual effect when applied
• Bane Dragons are identified correctly in the Pet Trade Window
• Players can no longer place items on vendors while vendors are in moving crates
• Statuettes will now use standard house security
• Security will not default to “anyone” with bulletin boards any longer
• Range restrictions and line of sight have been removed when placing and removing house addons as long as you are in the house.
• New creature icons were made for the Bake Kitsune
• Exploding mushrooms will no longer spawn under players houses
• Lava Lobster fishing was fixed
• Human male face 6 and 7 are no longer the same
• Pets will now show up correctly on your pet slots
• Players can no longer mount a pre patched Hiryu with a bola target cursor
• Certain mobs will no longer leave frozen non lootable standing images instead of corpses
• Cursor Target Last action should function correctly now
• You can no longer target invisible pets with stored target and target last action
• Health Bars should update correctly now in the EC
• The Always Run user setting will now influence walking and running via the keyboard movement in the EC client
• Fixed stacking issues when removing items from vendor inventory to your backpack
• Fixed an issue that stopped players from smelting or repairing items
• It is now possible to buy items that are too heavy to carry from a player-owned vendor.
  • This is only possible if the buyer’s bank box can hold the item.
  • If successful, the item will be placed directly in the buyer’s bank box
  • Items that are light enough to be carried will never be sent directly to the bank box; these items will be purchased normally
• Tome of Lost Knowledge can be equipped on a vendor now
• Building signs have now be localized in various towns
• Lockdown count for trash barrels will be removed from your house immediately after deletion
• You can no longer rename runes marked for shops/houses
• Hanging Skeletons can be re-deeded by the owner of the house or the person that placed it.
• The goatee no longer appears to be a Van Dyke in the EC
• Ornate Elven Chest will only take 1  lockdown now instead of 2
• House signs will update immediately when using a name change token.  Please note this only works for player’s primary houses.
• Items locked down under house signs will be released and moved to the moving crates for classic and customizable houses.
• Object Handles will no longer remain for items that are deleted or removed
• Vendors can equip Faction Morph Earrings
• Players will no longer receive the double bark of I wish to secure this and no longer locked down when securing an item
• Despise mobs will all start at up to Level 5
• Luck bonus from the 10th Anniv sculpture should no longer get stuck on players
• Gargoyle character statues should present properly when using the restore button
• Hail Storm should no longer flag the caster by hitting allies or player vendors
• Mooring lines of ships will now not allow you to board a ship while you are a PVP aggressor
• Players can no longer block the spawning of the Sap of Sosaria; it will be eligible to respawn as soon as it is picked up by a player.
• Aggression involving one’s own pets no longer blocks access to a player’s house as if the player were a non-consensual PvP aggressor
• Players can no longer insure items in a locked container
• On Siege and Mugen the effect of the Crystal Ball of Knowledge will be removed if the item is stolen
• Game now shows 2 sizes for pixies for EC
• Hats should no longer twitch in the EC client
• Lanterns now glow on the paperdoll
• Hueing of Gargoyle wings should display properly
• Gargoyle aprons should hue properly in EC
• Gargoyle kilts should hue properly in EC
• Female Gargoyles aprons should appear less manly and hue properly
• Halos on hats and helms have been removed from the EC paperdoll
• The composite bow will now appear when mounted in EC
• Flesh Golem has been re skinned and looks AWESOME NOW
• You can no longer place identical add ons at the same location
• Davies’ Locker will now show coordinates if you have the appropriate skill for the map’s difficulty
• Bedrolls will not lose their “Acquired by Begging” properly when used
• Davies’ Locker will now show South or East sextant coordinates
• All broken Iron Beetles should mine properly now (submitted thru Ask and Answer)
• Gingerbread houses can no longer be placed under walls
• Small bone table is not impassable and has the correct height valuePlayers can no longer walk thru walls on top of the sandstone house
• It is no longer possible to simultaneously open more than one user interface for modifying character appearance
  • This includes the Disguise Kit, the Hair Restyling Coupon, the Hair and Face Stylist NPCs, and the sex change token
• When placing a ladder it now requires a two tile gap in line with the ladder on the floor above
• Corrected height placement to the spooky furniture
• Oil cloths will now go into the players packs instead of on the ground at their feet
• Tool tip information is visible on all ship’s hold tiles
• Guild war or guild sparring will not block ship access
• Mythic Character token will allow you to reallocate 260 stat points if you have raised your points before using the token, otherwise it will only go to 255
• You can no longer craft exceptional Grapes of Wrath
• If you fill a BOD that was used to try to bribe a NPC and then cancelled you will be able to turn it in without it being seen as a bribe
• Fixed the column labels in the commodity broker gump
• You can now sell Grapes of Wrath and Petals of the Rose of Trinsic on commodity brokers
• Runic crafted Weapon damage bonus is now 35%
• Ship runes no longer go blank during server maintenance when locked down in a player’s house
• Gorgon Lenses will always be colored with the scales used, having the DO NOT COLOR option does not effect these lenses
• Salvage bags on Siege will no longer consume charges
• Player can no longer force Sacrificial Altars into walls with the house decorating tool
• Fixed an issue that caused permanent debuff icons on a players buff bar
• Fixed the Ankhs so that Exodus cannot destroy them
• Players have the option to not mark Dragon Barding Deeds
• Abbatoirs and Pentagrams will no longer move one tile NW after house customization
• The Second Age Ice Champ Spawn teleporters will now teleport to a more desirable location
• Items will now properly sit on top of Stygian Abyss style pedestals
• Items will now sit properly on the arms of the Blackthorn Throne replica
• Players will no longer get stuck behind stalagmites as a result of Cora’s AI
• The Stew in Dungeon Wrong will properly be in the pot
• Removed errant terrain tiles inside Dungeon Shame
• Doors in Luna will no longer have a chance to spawn in duplicate
• The Fisherman’s Suit will now provide the appropriate bonus to the chance of catching Charybdis
• Commodity deeds can no longer be used on objects that have a lifespan
• All peerless keys that had a timer of 5 hours now have a timer of 1 week (will display as 6 days)
• Players who are riding an ethereal mount that get dismounted with the riding swipe special move will not be able to immediately enter animal form
• Cocoa Seeds that were displaying the incorrect “O’Hii Seed” name when stacked will now display the correct name when moved
• Exodus will now destroy all items that block his movement
• You can no longer drink from a bottle while in the trade window
• It is now possible for owners to simultaneously release and retrieve their locked down and secured items using the new “Retrieve” context menu option.

Vendor Fixes

• Vendors will now charge their fees incrementally over time, instead of once per day.
• If the vendor runs out of funds, the player has a one-hour grace period before the vendor packs up.
• Vending Penalty is abolished and all existing Vending Penalties are removed from all items.
• Vendors will now charge fees for selling equipped items
• It is now possible to drag inventory directly from one vendor’s backpack to another, preserving sale price

Moving Barrels

It is now possible to re-deed container house add-ons

• If the container is not locked down or secured:
  • The contents are dumped to the floor
  • The add-on returns to normal deed form
• If the container is locked down or secured:
  • The add-on becomes a barrel instead of a deed
  • The contents of the add-on container(s) are stored inside the barrel
  • The barrel is never blessed
  • The barrel cannot be opened
  • Items be added to/removed from/used while inside the barrel
  • The barrel acts like an add-on deed
  • When the add-on is placed from the barrel, the contents are restored

New Buff /Debuff Icons

• Grapes of Wrath
• Horrific Beast
• Lich Form
• Vampric Embrace
• Wraith Form
• Curse Weapon
• Reaper Form
• Immolating Weapon
• Enchant Buff
• Honorable Excution
• Confidence Buff
• Evasion Buff
• Counter Attack Buff
• Lightning Strike
• Momentum Strike
• Orange Petals
• Rose of Trinsic
• Poison Immunity Resistance
• Veterinary Buff
• Perfection Buff
• Honored Buff
• Mana Phase Buff
• Enemy of One Debuff
• Fandancer Fan Fire Debuff
• Rage Debuff
• Webbing Debuff
• Medusa Stone
• Dragon Slasher Fear Debuff
• Aure of Nausea Debuff
• Howl of Cacophony Debuff
• Gaze Despare Debuff
• Hiryu Physical Resistance Debuff
• Rune Beetle Corruption Debuff
• Bloodworm Anemia Debuff
• Rotworm Blood Disease Debuff
• Faction Stat Loss Debuff
• Heat of Battle Status Debuff
• Criminal Status Debuff
• Splintering Effect Debuff

Classic client  7.0.29

• Cliloc Changes
• Localization additions

Enhanced Client  4.0.29

• Cliloc Changes
• Localization additions

We are experiencing a technical issue with the Veteran Rewards and housing. We are currently working on the issue and hope to have it fixed soon.

Thank you for your patience.

Update: Due to some unforeseen technical issues, the upgrade for the Atlantic Shard has been delayed until tomorrow, December 5th at 5:00 am EST (10:00 GMT). At this time we anticipate that the shard will be back online no later than 8:00 am EST (13:00 GMT).

This is a reminder that we will be bringing the Atlantic shard offline tomorrow, December 4th, at 5:00 am EST (10:00 GMT) for a hardware upgrade.

At this time we anticipate that the shard will be back online no later than 10:00 am EST (15:00 GMT).

Please be sure to check back here for updates regarding this downtime.

Update 8:00pm EST: We have resolved the issue with the Christmas Gifts and they will be turned back on tomorrow after maintenance.

There is currently an issue with Christmas gifts. We will be disabling them temporarily while we work on a solution.

Thank you for your patience. Please keep an eye here for further updates.

Greetings!

We will be bringing the Atlantic shard offline, Tuesday December 4th, at 5:00 am EST (10:00 GMT) for essential maintenance.

At this time we anticipate that the shard will be back online no later than 10:00 am EST (15:00 GMT).

Please be sure to check the Herald for updates regarding this downtime.

As many of you already know, one of our Event Moderators joined the development team as an Associate Designer. EM Dudley, aka Kyronix, was recently interviewed by UO Forums. The interview is full of some great information regarding his transition from EM to Associate Designer and what it’s like joining the Dev team. Head over to UO Forums to check it out.

As we move into the twelfth month of the year we bring you Ask and Answer number 12. It is a season for giving and your questions have the developers making plans to bring all sorts of changes to the game. Enjoy!

UO Auctions

Can anything be done about the freezing screen when you use house customising and or the packing create with EC? (Rupert Avery)

We actually discussed this over lunch for approx 20 minutes to try to figure out the best way to do this, bottom line is yes it can be redone but it is not Just a simple task.  But it’s on our radar now.

UO Stratics

Dont wanna add more than a bit thanks to devs for this new hunt. It s well done, fun to make from the start till the end.
It just rings a bell to me concerning the other peerlesses. First of all why dont you change the key timers to make them the same that for Eodus ? i.e. a 1 week timer is great… gives us time enough to prepare things for guild.
I understand that it was not welcome at the beginning when all bosses were overcamped but now most peerless places are empty on a regular basis…
So if you give us a bit more time to gather sets of keys alike Exodus that would be great indeed  (Lien Ragus)

So this is a valid idea, we like it and you guys will see all the keys for the peerless encounters with extended timers on them in the future.

Hello devs.
I’m trying “Elwood Quest” for several years to get a rare obsidian statue of character’s name.
And it still continues, I am being 200 defeated successively currently…
Is it completely random that a rare name’s statue appears ?
I wish there is no like an easter egg on origami paper.
Thank you.(Peil)

We agree the rarity of this is way too high, we will look into adjusting this.  Right now there is a 1 in a 1000 chance to get a rare statue.  We will make some changes to improve this in a future publish.

Gargoyles are still unable to use Dartboards. (not a huge issue i know), but a bigger issue is the Gargoyles inability to use +mining gloves. like the Ringmail with +5 bonus. any help on these would be appreciated.(Victim of Siege)
Could we get an option to alter Mining Gloves for a Gargoyle?
Gargoyles have become the crafter of choice with imbuing and reforging and since you need over 100 mining skill to max out salvaging…the mining gloves are somewhat necessray. (swroberts)
Blacksmith gloves of mining don’t work on mr gargoyle, any chance, down the road, we can alter these in some way??Thnx(Bullseye_of_Atl)

Due to the fact the humans and elf’s have racial bonuses, we do not see any reason that Gargoyles should not have a racial bonus also.  We are going to give the gargoyles a mining racial bonus.

It was mentioned on FoF (April 10, 2009) that “the donation system for community collections needs an overhaul in general”.I’m curious if this is still being looked at/worked on. Thanks. (Whinemaker)

Actually we have made some changes to this system such as allowing you to turn in commodity deeds and bags of items to make it easier to turn in items, if you are asking for a whole new system such as different rewards, mobs etc…we have not discussed this.

Ultima Online Bibliothek

When will there be house plots greater than 18 x 18 for customization? Eg. Keeps could be converted, because they can’t be decorated on three sides and therefore much deco space is wasted. Many people have their Castles and Keeps because of the long time they are playing UO,and so they need the storage space… But there are areas, such as the ice island or Minoc, where Keeps and Castles are lined up and it looks like you are in the ghetto there… and somehow this pabulum is rather boring.
Honestly – If we could customize a house plot, wich is as big as a keep’s plot, there would of course be some of our architects there to create something really beautyful … We have such beautiful items for decoration now – why should they even gather dust in the boxes? (Mene’Tekel)

We have talked about this but its again not a task that can be done quickly.  I won’t say no it will never happen but I just don’t have you a definite answer right now.

When do we tamers get new pets for taming? To be a tamer is one of the most beautiful thing UO provides – but right now you can only see tamers, who move around with their Greater Dragons… I personally encounter sadness, because we have a lot of great pets in the game!
Silversteeds for e.g. would be very nice – or you could create a mini-version of the Stygian Dragon for taming … *dreaming*
I would also find it very cool, if there would be a small chance to get Dread Horses (the better Nightmare) or Bane Dragons back to the game for taming – a lot of new players asked for them and they also want to have such an animal.
And what would be great too: Strong pets like the Cu Sidhe or the Hiryu should be able to compete with stronger monsters. The Unicorns used to be very strong too, and the small Nightmares … – if I move to Oni with these animals nowadays, they drop dead in a jiff… which is very frustrating to new players, who can finally handle such an animal. (Mene’Tekel)

We have discussed doing a pet revamp, I would rather not give specific details yet.  This is something the whole team would like to do.

UO Japan

I have a small stone keep. I’d like to lock my items down in my courtyard. Please make a special door which allows players to access its courtyard. I would purchase the door even if it was sold at Origin store.（Nickname:rararin）

A keep is a bit different than the castle, the “courtyards are not accessible it would require us putting in teleporters in and out of those small areas.  Can it be done yes it can.  We will review this for a future publish.

I’d like to see skill/stats of my stabled pets. The Pet Brokers in Magincia have “LORE” option. Is it possible to add the option to the Animal trainers?（Nickname eli）

Using some of the code that is already in the game we can make this possible. 

If a character used 2 tokens of personal attendants, one of them became completely meaningless. Could you change the attendant to be tied to an account instead of a character?（Nickname eli）

Yes it can be tied to an account, we will look into this for a future publish.

When will the double NPC spawn be fixed? The Asuka shard still has double NPCs. Can you delete these extra NPCs for us? (Nickname: Quinn)

It will be done by the time these questions are posted.

Update 3:15 pm EST: The shards are back online

Greetings!

We will be bringing the shards offline tomorrow, Thursday November 29th, at 2:00 pm EST (19:00 GMT) for essential maintenance.

At this time we anticipate that the shards will be back online no later than 4:00 pm EST (21:00 GMT).

Please be sure to check the Herald for updates regarding this downtime.

Written by members of the community

Issue 10

WORLD NEWS

GRAVESITE PLUNDERED

The town guard is looking for information regarding the recent disinternment of a local man’s body from the Yew cemetary. Jethro Mctavish had been buried three days prior, and there is no indication that the corpse had been defiled in any way. However, locals are convinced that the responsible party was looking for McTavish’s coveted fried turkey recipe which he swore that he’d take to the grave with him. No additional leads have been pursued so far in the case.

BOWYER CRAFTS LEDENDARY CROSSBOW

Fervent bowyer, Yohan Yorguson embarked upon the task of reconstructing the fabled triple crossbow; following the original design of the celebrated Iolo Fitzowen. Yorguson was very tight-lipped about how he had acquired the long-lost plans, but stated that he had paid a pretty penny for them. With a small crowd assembled, Yorguson offered a demonstration of the weapon which would allow the marksman to strike three targets simultaneously. Future development of the weapon has been put on hold until further testing can be done. There is no further news on the medical condition of two innocent bystanders who were injured during the test.

YOU WILL BE MISSED

Their time with us was brief, but now they are somewhat gone. Shall we ever see their like again? Majestic and proud, the mammoth mutant turkeys shared our lives for that short but exciting time, where it was not unheard of to wake up in the morning and look out the window, to spy a large curious eye gazing back at oneself. Alas, it was not to last. Surely, there were differences between our two species, and who can blame these poor creatures whenever they tried to eat us. After all, we look like tasty corn to them. Perhaps it was for the best for both species that the Mystical Herders led them off to the Hidden Valley of the Mammoth Turkeys, where they can roam free and call out to each other in the swirling mists of that magical place. Maybe, they will return, some day…

DAY OF GLUTTONY EAGERLY ANTICIPATED

This year it appears that no kitchen tables will go empty following an initiative by Britannia’s armsmen and warriors to provide foodstuffs to fill the land’s larders. Logicians feel confident that the cornicopias will will be sufficient to supply insane amounts of never-ending food to meet the needs of the people this thanksgiving season with plenty left over for turkey sadwiches, casseroles and soup leading up to Christmas. Already, Britannia’s brave warriors are shlepping through the bogs fighting off hoards of plague beasts and lizardmen to secure the needed cranberries to accompany the Thanksgiving repast. Belt buckles are already being loosened and tailors are rubbing their hands together greedily in anticipation of the upcoming gorge-fest. Meanwhile, the captain of the guard is familiarizing his men with the new lightning staffs that will be replacing their usual halberds. The new devices will be employed on Black Friday to control the unruly shopping mob the following day, where store owners will bait competitive shoppers with an artificial scarcity of limited trinkets and gee-gaws that will be fought over with tooth and nail. The town guard will then be called in to subdue the feral crowd. The guards’ eyes twinkle, looking upon the new toys with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. And by sugarplums, we mean shoppers; and by dancing, we mean limbs flailing from electric shocks. Everyone looks forward to a memorable Thanksgiving holiday.

TRAVELOGUE

TURKEY DAY TIPS

If you waited to the last minute to buy a turkey and are tempted to obtain one through a back alley deal, be certain that the person you are dealing with is a certified poultry handler. Certain little things like tattoos can tip you off that the individual you are dealing with is not entirely on the level. Sure, poultry dealers wear gloves, aprons, and have blood all over them, but so do other unsavory types as well. Any legitimate poultry dealer should be well versed in a number of poultry related songs. Ask him to share one of his favorite poultry ditties. If he can’t think of one, get out of there quickly. Just remember these tips, and play it safe this Turkey Day.

ARTS AND LIVING

Bacons of Fate

by Anora Knowles
A bacon did rest in it’s glory upon yon shelf..
Thusly a person emerged from the room down the hall and approached the glorious bacon, upon yon shelf, and did yawn heartily as they didst reach for the bacon. At this time, it is unknown what the glorious bacon upon yon shelf didst think about as it faced utter oblivion in the bowels of a random person from a room down the hall; but we can safely assume it was considering it’s totality in the universe. Things had come full circle. Perhaps this is the fate all things face.
Perhaps it is the fate of all glorious bacons in the realm. Perhaps this is all a dream we cannot wake from until we have tasted the glorious bacon for ourselves. But perhaps we look deep inside and blame fate for the way things have become.
The End

HOROSCOPES

The Mongbat-February
You will find yourself on the pursuit of a very powerful artifact and your journey will take you to an old crone of very few words who will bargain for information in exchange for a wrinkle cream made from the extract of a unique orchid that grows in the shade in the bogs in the Fens of the Dead. Hopefully, this useful tip will save you a lot of time.

The Phoenix-March
They are counting on you to be the one who will bring the turkey for the Thanksgiving dinner this year, and it will be dry and overcooked. You will apologize and everyone will comfort you and tell you not to concern yourself over it. But, inside they will never forgive you for ruining Thanksgiving.

The Sea Dragon-April
Keep Uncle Jim away from the liquor this year. You know you can’t even give him one little glass, because he gets all crazy and something is going to get broken again.

The Hermit-May
A wonderful economic opportunity awaits you just beyond the Felucca Yew moongate. Just be certain to bring something or several things of great value with you to demonstrate your inherent worth.

The Llama-June
You should be more discerning in showing kindness to particular individuals. If you give a tasty apple to a hag, she’ll probably put poison in it, and pass it onto someone else.

The Ancient Wyrm-July
It is virtuous to resist temptation whenever it presents itself. But, really…who puts a turkey on their porch to cool off? They’re just begging for someone to take it, and better you than some stranger. Right?

The Anvil-August
Lord British awaits you in the underworld. Remember to bring with you the sandalwood box, obtained by opening the secret panel revealed by playing the first 18 notes of Stones on the harpsichord.

The Weaver-September
The “kind” mentor that has taken you in since your parent’s unfortunate deaths and is training you to unlock your latent power so that you may open a secret chamber so that he may obtain a powerful artifact that will make him immortal and unlimited in power is using you. Hopefully, this warning will save you about 20 years of rigorous training ending in a burned-out shell of a world. If not, oh well…

The Wisp-October
You are a carefree spirit, and live on the wind. You have great hair and you smell like fresh baked cookies.

The Unicorn-November
Sometimes helping people has unforeseen consequences and you have to show judgment when ministering assistance to others. You can teach a hungry, blind man to fish, but if you give him a boat, you’ll probably never see him again.

The Wanderer-December
You cannot eat your cake and keep it at the same time, unless you’re the time lord, in which case you can go back in time before you ate the cake then take it for safe keeping. But, wouldn’t that prevent your past self from being able to eat the cake in this first place? Maybe, going back in time and carrying out such an act would disrupt the time stream resulting in an alternate time line where you would be enjoying delicious cake in a world inhabited by 15 foot tall bat people. Kind of makes you think, doesn’t it?

(If you would like to help write stories for the yew times. Email them to yewtimes@hotmail.com)

The following fixes were applied with yesterday’s scheduled maintenance:

• Wall mount add-ons can now be redeeded.
• You no longer need blackrock to make grapeshot.